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I'm not a FLW!

There is no bigger sign that there is a tool behind the wheel of a car than front fog lamps ablaze when it's not foggy. Which was fine when front fog lamps used to be optional, as you didn't have to fit them in the first place. Considering that when it actually is foggy they're bloody useless, this wasn't a problem. See also driving lights that illuminate the side of the road about 2 feet in front of the car.

Now we have Daytime Running Lights (DRLs) to look forward to. I have a problem with these in principle, as I believe that if you can't see 1.5 tons of motorcar in broad daylight, you really shouldn't be allowed near a road. I also cannot think of a more naff adornment to the front of a car. What's worse is that we will no longer have the option to not turn them on as the politicians have decided that before long these will become compulsory.

As politicians mostly live and work in London from their second home (their first home usually occupied by their sister, who is also their secretary), they live in an environment that is unique in the UK, in that it's the only place on this little island where the motorcar is pointless. Now I'm not suggesting that politicians are oblivious to anything that happens outside "The City"... Actually, yes I am, on the strength of that they really shouldn't stick their fingers into things that they do not understand. But they have, and the fact that I'm not allowed to shoot them but they're allowed to get away with expenses fraud, means that there's not at damn thing I can do about it.

But they're not compulsory yet, so what is my problem? It's the Cayman. Porsche in their infinite wisdom decided that the car needed separate side lamps. Fine so far, but they put them into the driving lamps on a second bulb. So I cannot turn on my headlamps without the little round things lighting up. Why on the Cayman did they see fit to integrate them into the driving lamps?! They look fine on that era 911 and Boxster where they look side-lampy. Just do that, think of the money saving by not having to manufacture two different parts.

So a bright red Porsche with fog lamps on, what image does that conjure up? At least I don't work for a bank eh...

a good grilling

If you examine the picture above you might also notice that there's been a couple of small additions to the car in the form of a pair of radiator grilles. These are ZunSport grilles supplied by Motordrive which are a doddle to fit, but note that they require a screw through the black plastic under the lamp to hold them in place. Luckily even when these are off, the hole is hardly noticable.

On the plus side they offer protection to the condensers that sit in front of the radiators and are notorious for picking up damage. Even though the grilles weren't cheap, they're a hell of a lot cheaper than replacing the condensers. Also it stops the pods filling up with leaves, which if you've got big hands, can be a pain to get out.

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